Working the Room

The Build Up

I spent the past weekend traveling on personal business. As readers following along will recall, I was in Kingston, ON celebrating my Father's life at a memorial reception. As the only representative of the Spencer family, it was my responsibility to greet the guests and accept their condolences.

Professional politicians often note that the key to any form of public event is to "stick to the message". At this particular event, I had a few key themes, which I felt like I was re-visiting over and over again. Everybody wanted to know the same things:

Where is your Mom ?

Unfortunately, Mom had a stroke which left her paralyzed on her right side. She had previously lost vision in her right eye, due to a macular degenerative disease, and she suffered near-complete aphasia, meaning she is only able to enunciate a few words. Needless to say, despite waiting two months for the Memorial Reception, Mom still isn't up to public events.

Where is your sister ?

Unfortunately, Robin's often hectic schedule at work precluded her joining us in Kingston. She works in a special educational facility, which deals with children who have suffered some form of abuse - emotion, physical or sexual. It's a crucial time of the school year for her kids, and she couldn't get away.

Where is your brother ?

Dave has felt bereft at the loss of his father, and felt he was unable to handle the additional emotional strain of attending Dad's Memorial Reception. He sends his love and gratitude to those who asked after him, and asks their understanding at this time.

Working the Room...

Difficult situations like these are best dealt with by having a plan. I made a point of assessing the questions I expected to hear about - "where is...", "why the delayed reception...", and "where is your father interred...". The st is a little bit of thinking on your feet.

I make a point of always starting with somebody you know. The sense of familiarity allows me to "try out" the answers to the questions, and see if the audience's responses are favorable. This gives me the ability to adjust the response if necessary.

It quickly became apparent that I had two distinct audiences - friends and family, and colleagues & co-workers. Each had to have answers tailored to their specific needs. Friends & family tend to be privy to more intimate family details, such as my marital status. Colleagues & co-workers are not. So it became important to decide how much detail to give each group.

The Moral of the Story ?

I cannot stress how much easier this difficult situation became had I not taken the opportunity to think about what message I wanted to share, as well as think about the kinds of questions people may have. There is an old proverb which makes up the tag-line of my email signature. It reads "A man who fails to plan, plans to fail !" .